What is Mum Rage?

Mum rage (sometimes called postnatal rage or postpartum rage) is the term many mothers use to describe the sudden, overwhelming anger that seems to explode out of nowhere. It’s shouting at your child over something small, snapping at your partner, or feeling like you could scream when the noise, demands, and stress of the day just won’t stop.

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It might show up in small ways and slowly build. Resentment towards your husband, frustration at the constant demands, passive aggression slamming of kitchen cupboards, loud sighs or huffs directed at people. Sometimes it might feel containable and other times it feels like it explodes out of you from nowhere.

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👉Want to know if therapy could help with the overwhelm or anger? Learn more about therapy with me here

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But is it actually Mum Rage??

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Whether you're postpartum or further into your motherhood journey there is no diagnosis of something called 'postnatal rage' or 'mum rage' (though I have had clients who have told their patients they have it and have given anti depressants or anti anxiety medication).

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You don't have a 'disorder' though, your body's stress response is actually responding exactly how it's supposed to given the sleep deprivation, over stimulation, insane mental load, shift of identity, lack of physical and mental space and so much more! Your nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode, which is why so many mums experience anger and rage in motherhood, and it's screaming out for something to change. 

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👉 If you’re curious about the science behind the nervous system and mum rage, I go deeper into this in my Mum Rage Relief Series.

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What Does Mum Rage Feel Like?

 

Mum rage can show up in many ways:

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• Snapping or shouting over small things, then being hit by guilt afterwards

• Feeling like you go from 0–100 in seconds

• Tight shoulders, clenched jaw or fists, or even wanting to throw something when you’re overwhelmed

• Struggling to stay patient, even when you’ve tried deep breaths or “gentle parenting” techniques

• Thoughts like “why can’t I cope?” or “my kids deserve a better mum than me”

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Why Do Mums Experience Rage?

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Mum rage isn’t a sign that you’re a bad parent. It’s your nervous system stuck in survival mode. Here are just a few things that can lead to this fight or flight response:

• The mental load: Keeping track of endless tasks, appointments, and responsibilities creates constant pressure.

• Unmet needs: Lack of sleep, rest, and time for yourself mean your brain and body are running on empty.

• Old patterns: If you were taught to hide your emotions growing up, your children’s big feelings can feel especially triggering.

• Society’s expectations: Mothers are told to “be patient, be selfless, be grateful”, all while holding it all together. That pressure is a recipe for rage.

• Unprocessed grief: previous loss, not having the pregnancy, birth or postpartum experience you wanted, loss of pre-child identity (and so much more!)

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The Impact of Mum Rage on You and Your Family

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The hardest part isn’t just the anger itself, but the aftermath:

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• Seeing the scared look on your child’s face 

• Feeling disconnected from your partner

• Spiralling into guilt and shame 

• Worrying you’re damaging your children or passing on unhealthy patterns

• Feeling utterly exhausted

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👉 If you’re worried about the impact on your kids and relationships, you might find it helpful to read about how I support mums to rebuild connection in my therapy services.

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How to Cope With Mum Rage and Find Relief

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Coping with mum rage isn’t about having more patience or finding the “perfect” parenting script. Real relief comes from learning how to calm your body in the moment and addressing the deeper reasons behind your anger.

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With the right support, you can:

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• Use simple tools to regulate your nervous system when rage rises (like pausing to unclench your jaw or stepping into another room for a breath before responding)

• Understand and work through your triggers so you feel more in control

• Practice self-compassion to break the guilt–rage cycle

• Build healthier patterns of connection with your children and partner

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✨ You’re not broken. You’re overwhelmed and you deserve support, space, and strategies that actually work.

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​👉 If you’re ready to take a first step, you can join the free Mum Rage Relief Series or book a free call (opens Calendly booking page) to find out how therapy could support you.

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